my pearl
by peetapuff
Summary: Set after the rebellion. Katniss and Peeta are trying to make a life of their own. But Peeta still suffers from hijack attacks, while Katniss suffers from panic attacks. Will these tear them apart? or bring them closer then ever before. this is my first time at this so sorry if its no good. If I should continue please tell me, or give me ideas. Thank you
1. Chapter 1

Ever since the rebellion ended, Peeta has stuck by my side through everything. I finally told Peeta how I felt and everything has been great. Except that Peeta still has hijack attacks. At first they we were lucky to have one attack every fourth month. Its becoming more frequent now and as a result, I've had panic attacks and nightmares. My panic attacks are also triggered by stress and bad news. Peeta doesn't know about these attacks, I don't want to worry him. There's two things that calm me done, the first is the pearl Peeta gave me. I usually keep it in the pocket of my pants, so if I ever do have an attack I grab it out and rub its smooth surface between my thumb and fore finger. The second is Peeta himself. The soothing sounds he whispers in my ears, the feel of his hand stroking my face and hair, the way he holds me. But theres times where the attacks are unexpected, but I always make it to the pearl in time. One day I feel as if something terrible will happen. Its happening again. My breathing is fast. My body shakes. I try to make my way to my bed-side table. It doesn't work well. My legs give out halfway there. I start to panic more. My lungs hurt as a result of not getting enough air. The one thing that can help calm me is so close, yet so far away. Black spots start to crowd my vision, a jolt of pain spreads from ribs outwards. I hear footsteps in the hallway coming towards the room. I try to call out and nothing escapes from my lips except for my ragged breaths. I hear my name being called, "Katniss…Katniss" More black spots start to crowd my vision, making it hard to see. Then he's there, stopped dead in his tracks. He rushes over to me and kneels next to me. I look up to his face, he's saying something that I can no longer hear. He lifts my head into his lap and starts stroking my hair. I manage one word before I'm swallowed by darkness. That one word is "Peeta,". 


	2. the truth

My mind comes too, before my body does. I can feel the softness of the comforter on my bed beneath me. Something heavy and warm is draped over my waist. My body feels stiff, like I've been laying in this position for a long time. I finally manage to open my eyes, to see that I'm laying on my bed and that the lights are out. I look to my bedside table to the clock and read, 9:35 pm. I move my arm down and brush, what is on my waist. I look down to see it's Peeta's arm. As carefully as I can, I roll around to face his sleeping form. Only when I do face him, he isn't sleeping, his blue eyes are staring right into mine. He lifts his arm from my waist and brings his hand up to cup my cheek. I nuzzle into his hand and the warmth it creates. Peeta smiles lazily, but his eyes hold a look of concern. "What's wrong Peeta?" My voice breaks the silence and comes out more worried then intended. Peeta props himself up on his elbow and stares at me. I slowly sit, stretching my limbs. "How long?" Is all he says. Peeta is now sitting up as well, his brows furrowed in concern. I look down sheepishly at my hands. My long brown hair, falling down to cover my face from his view. "How long has what been?" My voice is shaky, as I try to sound confident. Peeta gets up and comes around to my side of the bed and kneels in front of me. He pushes my hair behind my ears. I close my eyes and breathe deeply. Peeta hooks a finger under my chin and tilts it up a little so my grey eyes can look into his endless blue ones. He drops his hand. "How long have you been having these panic attacks?" Peeta's voice is stern but gentle. I can feel the heat rise in my cheeks and know I must be beet-red. I look anywhere but in Peeta's eyes. I started chewing the right side of my mouth, where the tissue was scarred from restless chewing during my first games. My fingers fiddled with the hem of my shirt, as I tried to think of the right words to say. "Katniss, please tell me. I want to help you, I won't judge you" Peeta grabbed my forearms, gently and gave me a reassuring squeeze. I look into his eyes and quickly look away. I turn my face and look at the light hairs on his arm. I take a few deep breaths, to steady my now shaking hands. "Awhile.. Almost three months now," My voice is quite, just above a whisper. I can feel my cheeks burn brighter and tears I didn't know I had been holding in roll down my cheeks. Peeta looks shocked, frozen even. He seems to break the daze he was in and look at me again. His hand comes up and brushes the tears from my cheeks. I push his hands away and get up to leave. I make it to the closed door, my hand on the handle, when I feel his hands on my shoulders. He spins me around and pushes me against the door. His look is one of hurt. "Why wouldn't you tell me? Why would you keep it bottled in?" His voice is low and his eyes search my face as if the answer is written there. His hands push my shoulders into the door more. Peeta drops his head, but his hands remain where they are. My mind is reeling for the answer to give Peeta, but none of them seem right. The pain of being squeezed makes me stop looking for the answer. Peeta's hands are pushing my shoulders even harder into the wooden door. His head snaps up, his pupils are dilated. The one thought that reaches my mind quickest. Oh no, not now… not today please no. I cant escape this hijack attack. 


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Sorry that this chapter took me awhile, I haven't had much inspiration lately. But here it is, I hope you enjoy :)**

"Mutt!" He spits out with disgusts. He pulls my shoulders forward and slams them back, causing my head to smash into the door as well. "Filthy mutt! It's your fault everyone is dead!," He takes one hand of my shoulder and for a second I believe I have a way to escape. I go to move, but something comes crashes down across my face. Searing pain goes through the left side of my face and I realise Peeta slapped me.  
"Not real Peeta," I manage to get the words before, he brings his hand down again. This time he gets my eye in a punch. It instantly becomes swollen and sore. "Peeta none of this is real," I shout back at him. I know that I now need an escape and I don't have a lot of options. _Peeta's leg!_ My mind screams at me. Peeta's still screaming at me, calling me a mutt and that Prim's dead because of me. I tune him out and focus on the task at hand. I whip my leg around in front of me and catch Peeta's artificial leg with mine causing him to fall. He lets me go as he falls, and I stumble. As soon as he is on the ground I turn around and yank the door open. I go to the one place I know I can hide. I run straight for the meadow and the woods behind it. I don't stop until I reach the little hut by the lake. I find myself in one of the corners of the rooms. My knees pulled up to my chest, my head resting on my knees. Tears escaping from my one good eye. I don't know how long I sit like this… half an hour, maybe an hour.  
_SNAP!  
_My head snaps up. I lookout through the door frame scanning the darkness, for a sign on movement. Nothing. I'm about to put my head back on my knees when I see it. The slightest movement in the shadows. "Who's there?" I shout out._ Not the smartest thing to do, you idiot. _I think to myself. There's no answer. "I have a knife, and I'm not afraid to use it," My voice echo's in the little hut. That's when he steps out of the shadows. There's no light, but I know it's him. The way he stands, the frame of his body. I know, because I study all that back when we hunted together.  
"Hey Catnip," He says like we're still the best of friends.

**Thank you for reading. If you have any ideas as to what could happen in the next chapter I would love to hear them :) Constructive criticism is also welcomed :)**


End file.
